Okay, so I realize the title of this post is a little morbid for a weekly coffee chat, but I guess I felt like today was a good day to have one of those heart to heart talks and encourage each other. Yes, YOU encourage me too, every time you leave me a comment sharing your own insight or response to what I have written.
I also chose to write this post because it is something I am struggling with right now. I want my blog to be a place of honesty, not just when it comes to the happy, bubbly and fun things in my life, but also the struggles.
A few weeks ago, I made the commitment to spend some time with Jesus every morning that I could. It was going really well, and I was super spiritually encouraged. I felt that connection with Jesus, and it was amazing!
You know what I'm talking about right?
Well, this week when I went to pull out my Bible and journal, I felt like I got nothin'.
Zero, zip, nada, just plain nothing!
I went to pray and felt disinterested, like God wasn't really there listening!
Now this is where faith really comes into play. The post I wrote last weekHow Do You Define Faithis being put to the test this week! In the past, I would have just stopped spending time with the Lord. It feels like a waste of time! This week, however, I have stopped to think about it a little more closely.
I think this topic has become easier for me to understand now that I am married.
I love my husband. I know that he loves me.
What if in the moment I stopped feeling like he loved me, I stopped spending time with him?
Where is my level of commitment there?
In fact, I do the opposite. I try to spend more time with him, figure him out, tell him how I'm feeling etc...
So do I stop spending time with God because I no longer feel Him?
No, becausemy faith in God does not depend on what I feel from Him but on what I know of Him to be true.
In Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6, and in Joshua 1:5, God has promised...
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."
That's THREE different places that God tells us the same thing! He must have known we would need reminding:)
But that's not the only place God reminds us that he hasn't left...
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.
And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Isaiah 40: 28-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
According to these verses, even in those dry spells, God is there. This week as I opened my Bible and sought the Lord, God promises He was there, even when I didn't feel Him.
So even though my natural reaction is to stop spending time with the Lord and "wasting" my time, I should react the same as I would if I were feeling this way about my husband. After all, my relationship with God is even more important than mine and my husband's.
Clearly, I need to spend MORE time seeking God.
Chase after Him, seek Him with my whole heart, try to understand Him more deeply, and become more confident that in those moments when I don't feel Him, He is there.
No, I don't have it all figured out. In fact, these ramblings are probably just as much for me as for any of you! I know this is something we all struggle with at times, and I hope that we can encourage each other to put our hope in the Lord and trust that He will renew our strength in Him!
Don't give up!
As always, if there is any way I can pray for you or encourage you, please leave me a comment or send me a message!